"WHERE ARE YOU?” A CRY TO GOD IN THE DARKNESS

Any one of us can recall a time of darkness in our lives, maybe a moment, or maybe a whole season of life. A time where we struggle, where there is pain and agony and we need something, or someone, to help guide us through the night. Many come to this point of their life and they try many things to find comfort, including crying out to a god that they never did before. For those that are followers of Christ and believe in his amazing grace that saved us from our sin, we follow his guidance through everything. But that is much easier said than done of course. So, what happens when a season of darkness comes for a believer? What happens when the god that we followed in our thriving seasons seems non-existent in our darkness? What do you do then? Where do you turn? You have cried to God, begging him to show up and help in this time of present need, but there seems to be no answer. This is when our faith is tested, not always in the light of God, but when it seems that God has up and left us in our darkness, walked away with the light we used to guide the way.

“I shake my fist and scream where were you, in the night, when the roof came down? Where were you holding light, when the fire went out? Where were you, El Shaddai, El Shaddai, El Shaddai? ‘Where were you, where were you, where were you we cry.”

A friend of mine recently showed me the lyrics above and I don’t think there could be a better song to express my recent cries to God. As my family begins to really see the light at the end of a tunnel that I questioned would ever come. As I look back to reflect on my most recent, horrific season of darkness where I questioned God’s existence in the momentary affliction we were feeling. In this season, it seemed we had no way of knowing what our next steps were going to be, what we were to do, and so many other worries flooding in our heads. In this season, I often found myself crying as I slept, begging God to show up in a mighty way because I never for a moment doubted God’s existence as a whole, but only where he was in the season we were in. I was in this valley, one so deep that I couldn’t see over the peaks that surrounded me. I felt helpless because I could not help in anyway. I was at school doing my best to keep my academics up while I knew my family was back home struggling and I had to fight the urge to go home and do something. This was good in the end because honestly, there was nothing I could do in this circumstance to help. I needed God to show up big time. My family needed him to. We were praying harder than I think we ever had, and it seemed nothing was working. It seemed to be getting worse actually.

Have you ever been in a moment such as that? You are surrounding your life daily, even hourly, with prayer for God to see you through something and it seems that your request is not being heard? What do you do then? What do you do when the God you have served seems to fade away in a moment? Well, let me tell you one big assurance: He has not gone anywhere. I know that may be hard for someone that is in a dark season right now to read and understand, but just bear with me until the end to see what I mean. Let me also reassure you of something: it is okay to doubt, actually, as the Pastor J.D. Greear says, “Doubt is a normal part of the Christian life.” It is okay to doubt because you do not understand how God is working. See, God is working on a much bigger canvas than we realize at the time. We see only the immediate effects of the plan that is playing out, but God sees the whole thing and he works all things out for good. I think we all can look through scripture and see the multiple times that the characters were confused of hard times happening and God seeming distant or even non-existent in a crisis. Look to the book of John (9:1-3)

“As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’ Jesus answered, ‘It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.’”

For the disciples, they were seeing only on the immediate, smaller canvas that Jesus was working on, that someone must have sinned in this man’s life to make him blind. But for Jesus, He saw the bigger, longer-term canvas that God was working on to one day bring about the miracle that Jesus would perform in him and his blindness.

That’s how our darkness can be sometimes for us. We can be looking to the immediate and not the grand scheme God has planned. But understand that God knows this! He knows that you will not always understand why he does the things he does, or allows the things he allows, but that’s okay! It is okay to be in darkness and shout, the words of that song above, “Where were you, El Shaddai!?” What he wants is to use this dark time, or this desert you are in for your growth! What he wants is your faith crafted anew and your trust in him renewed at the end of the season! See, once again, yet another view of the grand canvas that God is working on! So, in the seasons where you may feel God is not working in your current darkness, always remember the word of John Piper: “When the darkness of uncertainty and fear hangs over you, don’t let go of the one you knew in the light.” May we never forget those words, and may they comfort those that need a reminder of how they are to get through the darkness. That is to remember the God that has always been faithful to you despite your faithlessness to him! Keep holding on to the Lord!

Last thing that I cannot end without sharing is the amazing words of the prophet in the book of Lamentations:

"He has walled me about so that I cannot escape; he has made my chains heavy; though I call and cry for help, he shuts out my prayer; he turned aside my steps and tore me to pieces; he has made me desolate; He has filled me with bitterness; my soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is; so I say, “My endurance has perished; so has my hope from the Lord.’'

Don’t miss this, don’t miss the fact that God called his own prophet to feel as though all of his hope in the LORD had vanished. GOD DID THAT! But that is not the end of this passage because God does not ever leave us in our sorrow because he always has a plan to see us through! Don’t read that passage and walk away because what comes next is so important for you and me:

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."

Walk away from this post knowing this: God knows that you are hurting, he knows what you are feeling. That is because he felt the worst pain all when he had to sit and watch as his Son was beating, bruised, and crucified for our sins that day! There is no pain such as a father watching his child in pain, especially for the one that can do nothing in that moment!

LIVING FOR THE ETERNAL

So, what is there to do with all of this? Where do you go when you feel you are at an end and you cannot go on? Wait on the Lord as the prophet Isaiah encourages us:

“But those that wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up on wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not grow faint.”

When you are in the darkness, you first pray. Pray that God gives you the strength to keep moving through the darkness, through the desert, to the end of the pain and suffering. Pray also that God renews the joy you once held in him prior to this season you are in. Do this so that you can find the will to praise him, not only in the light, but also in the dark. So, go, seek God and know that he knows the pain you are going through because it is nothing worse than he felt that day watching his son on Calvary. Do this and continue to do it until we are brought to a place that has no pain and suffering: Heaven! The place where every tear will be wiped away and there will be no more sadness and pain! Live faithfully until that day!